"Alan, I believe you have George's vegetable medley on your back!"

In the earlier years of my career I was given the task of developing a training program for our salaried sales force. The object of the training was to address some of the skill deficiencies we had identified and provide a foundation of information for the new sales personnel. The program included sales and marketing training and topics such as negotiating skills, product development, and administrative requirements.

Over the years the sales force grew upwards to 300+ people (in those days the group was about 90% male). Training was an important undertaking for us and we took the salespeople out of the field for one week every quarter. It was important that they had interaction with each other and home office management.

As most trainers, I preferred working with a small group. With workshop type classes we tried to keep the group at a maximum of 15; with lecture type material we went ahead and did auditorium classes. The auditorium classes were usually saved for the more "boring" topics (new product development and profit control). Hitting these subjects with one swoop was for the presenter more than the students: no one wanted to have to present that material more than once. No matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't glamorize profit control.

In the sales training classes we used a lot of role playing and employed videotaping as a critiquing tool. We put those guys and gals through some very disciplined processes and held them accountable for using a systemized sales process. Over the years, and as I changed companies, I found myself in the position of having former students coming to me to sell me something. It was shadow boxing at its best. One thing we agreed on was that we did have some fun as we went through, what became, a four level program and our formative years.

I recall some of the "students" with a smile (the names below have been changed - not to protect the innocent, but to keep me out of court):

• Andy: I think Andy had narcolepsy. On more than one occasion, I found myself standing in front of a snoring Andy who had managed to drool quite a reservoir on his crisp, white shirt. Isn't it amazing that every time you catch someone sleeping they are always surprised and often deny it? He later told me that he was often poked by little, old ladies on the plane, informing him of the "drool issue".
• Bob: In an effort to promote camaraderie, the training staff often hosted cocktail parties or dinner parties. The group would continue the party after the official party came to a close. The mornings after did indeed provide for some very "unhappy campers." Bob was looking green. I was surprised he even showed up on time for class. We took our morning break; Bob ran from the classroom. When we reconvened, Bob took his seat with a completely wet head. When I asked what happened, he replied that his friends "flushed his head in the toilet to revive him." I think he was telling me a story; I hope.
• Charlie: Charlie came to me very seriously during a morning break. "You have to change my room mate," he pleaded, "I haven't slept in two nights." He told me that Dave snored constantly, keeping him awake. Since I was head of the program he concluded that I was also in charge of room assignments. It turned out that we had to give Dave his own room thereafter - his snoring became infamous.
• Ed: Ed was a novice sales person. During the videotaping of a mock sales call, he had a number of false starts. He finally concluded his opening remarks and actually did quite well with the Q&A. When the taping was over, he gathered his things and left the room. My assistant broke into laughter as she pulled tissues from the nearby desk. Poor Ed had been so nervous that he left a puddle of sweat on the desk! The next time we videotaped him I told him to take off his jacket.
• Frank: Frank was actually a client. He was kind enough to agree to assist us in making a training video. The video was to be focused on what his expectations were of a quality sales presentation. I acted as the interviewer and we had pre-planned questions and answers. Frank was very nervous. Perhaps it was the bright lights, or the camera. After several takes we decided to break and I left the room. Our director, Bill, knew he had to find some way to get Frank to relax. When I returned we went back into the interview. Again Frank sat there rather stiffly but now with a little smirk on his face. As I launched into a question, Frank leaned forward and brought his hands onto the desk. We both broke into uncontrolled laughter. Bill had provided Frank with the grip's gloves. There was Frank, professionally suited, wearing these over sized, yellow gloves and twiddling his fingers. Frank relaxed and the taping went well. We used the out-take as a example of how you never know what the client may throw at you.
• George: Now I have already mentioned that we regularly provided some off-time activities. And, I have already mentioned that the mornings after were sometimes "eventful". Well, after one such night of rabble rousing, we treated the attendees to deep sea fishing the next morning. George did not fare too well and become ill. Poor George, to his colleagues dismay, became ill several times. His recovery was hastened as he heard one colleague say to another, "Alan, I believe you have George's vegetable medley on your back." That became a rallying cry for many years after; and a 'greeting' for George to this very day.

I remember those days and people with great fondness. We had a good time and created some of the best sales professionals in the industry. They taught me a lot of valuable lessons as well. I was honored to part of their professional development. Learning should be fun!