I am at a graceful age. . .

"She's aging gracefully." What does that mean? She hasn't fallen down and broken a hip? Or, does it simply mean, not fighting the inevitable wrinkling, sagging, aching, cracking and spotting signs of the added years?

I love the one-liners that come with age:

• I'd get a face lift but then it wouldn't match the rest of my body.
• I'm losing my hair and it's growing in places in shouldn't.
• Most of the stuff in my grocery cart says "for fast relief".
• I'm wearing a "cross-my-waist" bra.
• You don't look so old to me; blurry, yes.
• Let's drink to our health. . .plan.
• Never wear a hearing aid - people will expect you to listen to them.
• I've fallen and can't get up!

You know that you've gotten older when your calendar is filled with more doctor appointments than social events. When meeting friends for drinks and dinner, you now show up at 5 PM instead of 8 PM. The conversation starts with what's aching, bowel movements and how much you paid for the cholesterol prescription.

Dining choices are limited to low carb, low sodium, low sugar and low fat; and your bar tab is now one third of what it used to be. You are afraid you will slip and fall on the way to the rest room because you wore a pair of heels that you can't balance yourself in anymore. You ask for a 'to go" box and forget it on the table. People greet you and you have no idea who they are.

What is that extra skin hanging around my neck? And what about those jiggly underarms - what's that about? Recently I was looking at a picture of my sister and I. We both noticed that our chins were identical (a feature we never noticed before). My remark: yes, all FOUR of them are the same! When did that happen?

Really, I'm not complaining about the changes in my body and looks. This body has served me well (and others - get your mind out of the gutter). There's still a lot of energy and life left in the "old gal"; it's just a different look that I have to get comfortable with.

My idea of aging gracefully is three-fold: keeping my sense of humor; dressing age appropriate; and camouflage with cosmetics not surgery (I'm saving my anesthesia points for when I really need them). The problem with the cosmetics is that I don't want to end up looking like Joan Crawford and Bette Davis in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" But, the blue eye shadow is back "in", isn't it?

Well, my ibuprofen has kicked in and the facial mask is ready for removal; how's that for graceful!