Clothes Closet Intervention

Dear Clothes Closet:

I am writing you today to ask for your cooperation in locating that really nice pair of gray slacks that I bought a few months ago. I know you have them. I am just not sure why you insist on hiding them.

I have always tried to be good to you. I never use wire hangers and try to be careful in hanging all the dresses together, suits together, shirts together, etc. Most of the shoes have their original boxes. I "feed" you regularly and keep the door closed so the cats don't make their bed upon your floor. I stopped leaving the ironing board up so you would have more space to breathe.

Why do you explode like you do - tossing boxes to the floor and separating a pair of shoes under the racks? When the fresh laundry returns, why do you exhale, forcing me to squeeze the jeans into such a small space? Why won't you keep that suitcase in it's place on the top shelf? Why do you keep fighting me to stay organized?

Where are those new scarfs that I hung so nicely on the wall hooks? I found one buried under worn clothes atop the hamper. It was so wrinkled that I hardly recognized it. Was that nice? And why do you keep hiding my dry cleaning bag? There were some summer clothes in there that I could have used. But not now; now it is fall.

Please help me understand.

Signed, Coralee

Dear Coralee:

I read your post and am deeply hurt by your insinuation that I am in some way "abusing" you. You pop in and out at all hours of the day and night. You try on a pair of shoes and toss them to the floor; always looking for something better. Do you realize how many pairs of black shoes you have? I am amazed that you have never left the house with two different shoes on.

There are pants hanging in the dress section and you haven't returned your black ball gown to it's special place. I'm not even going to mention the pieces of apparel that you can no longer fit into. I do what I can to keep the inventory in line and fresh. You keep shoving more and more items into a finite space. And, what's up with the hats? You keep bringing them in, but I rarely see you wearing one (only to try one on and dance around in your underwear).

We can work this out together. But you must commit to at least one full day to help reorganize. We've been down this road before and I venture to guess we will be here again someday soon.

It's time for an intervention.

Signed, Your Clothes Closet