Are you being served?

As I stumbled around making my coffee this morning, and cursed at the coffee maker to "perk damnit, perk," I was reminded of a restaurant experience many years ago.

There was a group of us, about ten, staying at the St. Moritz in New York. We were all there for a holiday party. It was the morning after the long and eventful night and I must say there was some "suffering" among us from our evening of frivolity. We had all gathered in Rumplemeyer's for breakfast. I was there for mass quantities of java. There was a table of six and a table of four. The restaurant was bustling, but not necessarily packed. We waited. We waited. We weren't being "waited" upon.

I am not particularly "pleasant" before that morning cup of coffee. Pleasant isn't really the word; the word is probably "patient". Having no patience, and having a headache and having sat unattended at the table for more than the reasonable wait, I decided to take the situation to hand. I stood up, went to the wait station and picked up a pot of coffee and began serving my friends and myself. The wait staff finally noticed us. The matre 'd ran to me to take the coffee pot. "Madame", he said, "let me do that for you." "Now, you want to serve me?" The apologies ensued. I told him I would help them out if they needed it, but I needed my coffee first. I had in fact collected everyone's order and called them out in a clipped, distinct voice. The wait staff scurried off, and returned, rather quickly, with Mimosas, pancakes, eggs, toast, bagels and the rest of a ravenous breakfast. The bill was $0; but we still tipped the wait staff.

I have been incredibly spoiled over the years by some wonderful people in the service industry. In return, my tips have funded a lot of food, shelter and clothing for the men and women who serve up drinks and cuisine. I have developed some long lasting friendships and have gone to weddings, baby showers and children's birthday parties. I also believe I have offered some mentoring for their "real" career choices.

Providing good service is a real skill. Schlepping food and drink, to sometimes ungrateful guests, takes real skill and a forgiving personality. Being a good customer also takes some skill, respect and a forgiving personality. As I watch "others" in restaurants and bars, I often thought that that restaurant etiquette should be given more attention. The servers go through training, why not the customers?

I thought of a few key rules of etiquette that just might improve your service the next time you dine out.

First, the server tells you their name for a reason; they don't want to be called "hey you." Remember their name, call them by their name, and ask them to tell you their name if they "forget" to tell you. And, introduce yourself.

Let the server know up front if you have special needs or issues. Do you have food allergies? Have tickets for the theater and need to be out at a certain time? Don't be afraid to tell them you want your "vegetables on the side and not touching your steak." Your server is your mediator with the kitchen staff.

If something is wrong with your order, tell them politely and clearly what is wrong. And remember, it is not necessarily their error that produced your "unhappiness". Don't sit there getting angry, and then stiff them on the tip. It can't be fixed if you don't tell them.

Remember that you are not their only customer. And more often than not, the number of customers they have was not their choice to begin with. You do have the option of going to Burger King or McDonald's.

If you got bad service, tell them. That is how we all learn.

I'm out and about alot. There are a number of places I go, not necessarily for the food, but for the service people. I have to give a shout out to the staff at Bonefish Grill in Harbison - Susan, Jesse, Emily, Erin, and the bartenders who always give me the "big girl glass." There is Jerry at Nonnah's and Stephen and Will at Copper River, Linh and Julia at Motor Supply, Leslie at the Koger, English at Ale House, Stephanie at White Mule and Alicia, Heather, Courtney, Chris, Angelo and many others who are scattered throughout town. I appreciate what you do.