I'm going to get "a round tuit"

My "to do" list keeps growing. I stay busy and the days seem to zip by me. There are some things on that list that have been there for almost a month. I keep telling myself that I will get to it on Monday; and then Friday arrives and I say again, "I'll get to it on Monday."

While getting my dose of news this morning and listening half-hardily to a feature piece, I heard, "you have to be uncomfortable to get better at what you do." While I agree that discomfort can be a motivator, I question whether any great achievement truly comes from "negative" motivation. It's like those "to do's" on my list; they will get done because they have to get done, but how well they get done is the question.

A former business colleague of mine used to, repeatedly, tell me that the only two, true, motivators of human nature are fear and greed. I didn't manage my business that way and I don't manage my life that way either. Perhaps you can deduce fear and greed as the common denominators for any motivator. You can turn a pig's ear into a silk purse with deduction, logic and reason.

I prefer to think my best results have been motivated by the desire for self-fulfillment. The end result is what motivates me; whether it is perfectly accessorising that new dress or raising $100,000 for my favorite charity or making it to Mass on Sunday morning or recycling my trash.

We are motivated by our basic needs of food, shelter and clothing. We seek recognition, love and affection and aspire to contribute to the greater good. We want to be remembered and leave a legacy for those that follow us. The question of motivation is really "what are your priorities" and what incents you to achieve and obtain those priorities and accomplishments.

The root of the word "motive" is "motion": causing or tending to cause motion. What "moves" you is your incentive to "move".

I am "moved" by other's creativity. I read; I see; I listen; and then I want to be a better person. People incent me; not the desire for things. The "things" are the trappings of achievement; and the "things" are sometimes not things at all. It is the love, respect, security and recognition that motivated me in the first place.

There are steps I must complete to put me in the position of moving my life in a positive direction. Some of those steps include the necessary and laborious tasks to meet our obligations. It is those tasks that remain on my "to do" list. Maybe I'll get "a round tuit" on Monday.

Embrace Your "Freakism"

"Flying the freak flag!" That's what my niece, Veronica, calls it when she reacts (read over-reacts) to a situation. I laugh. I know that the "freak flag" is part of a family tradition.

We are a passionate, opinionated and emotional lot. Chaos follows us. Panic envelops us. Laughter consumes us. We are consummate communicators - we verbalize everything. Those behaviors make some people very uncomfortable. We're sorry, we can't help it; we have learned to embrace our "freakism". And we proudly "fly the freak flag."

We don't think we're freaks at all. We find the humor in our reaction to life's little and huge obstacles alike. We just don't know how to contain the "freakism" before it explodes. Our arms begin waving, our feet may stomp and the words spill from our mouths.

Choruses of "what the hell" and "you got to be f**king kidding me" can be heard quite frequently. Paul Tillich said, "astonishment is the root of philosophy." We're just a bunch of modern day philosophers. We are always astonished by what people say and do, but we are never amazed. We're astonished by what we do and say too. We spend time a lot of time trying to figure it all out. And then, we roll our eyes, throw up our hands and chuckle - maybe we're just a bunch of big freaks?

Can you believe what I said? Did you see what I did? I lost it, didn't I? I'm such a freak! And I come from a long line of freaks.

Freakism is a learned behavior. It is animated and often loud and boisterous. It is raw emotion. When confronted by "freakism", many people view it as anger - sometimes insanity. It is neither. It is a reaction to perceived injustice, prejudice or plain stupidity. It is intolerant to lack of thought and logic.

Methinks we all have a bit of the "freak" within. Some are highly repressed. I suggest that letting the freak out every now and then is healthy and liberating.

Embrace the freak, just don't get it wet or feed it after midnight - remember what happen to the Gremlins.

To Pierce or Not to Pierce?

I have to admit that I don't get the desire to pierce or ink one's body. I believe it's because I'm pain-adverse. Hell, I was 34 years old and had purchased diamond studs three years BEFORE I went to get my ears pierced.

My "piercing" experience involved a rather large "gun" that jammed in my ear on the first attempt. There I sat in the Piercing Pagoda in Westland Mall, with a rather large, black piercing gun stuck in my right ear. I was wearing a crisp, white shirt and envisioned blood dripping down my neck and soaking my shoulder. I envisoned that. ..there was no blood. But, it did take the tech and my dear sister-in-law, Bea, about 15 minutes to disengage the tool. My brother Bob watched with a concerned look. Bob was a senior firefighter with the Hialeah Fire Department. What I thought was a look of concern for my safety was actually his concern over the stories that would ensue when "Harris had to bring his sister to the ER to have a piercing gun removed her ear." Bob prefered to do the teasing, not receive the teasing. We all still held our breath as I sat for the second piercing in my left ear; that went without incident. Bea, Bob and I had intended to get frozen yogurt after my piercing; we went for cocktails instead.

Back to my issue with piercing all other parts of the body. I recognize that it is a cultural thing in many places in the world. It is not necessarily a "cultural" thing in the US. How do you pierce the nose, the eyebrow and those private places? Doesn't the piercing of the tongue mess with your speech? Does it create a lisp or slur? Those nipple rings, don't they feel uncomfortable tucked inside a bra all day?

Having this conversation with my Aunt, I realized that in my teen and college years that I too may have been a "pain in the ass". Once I made my way to college in the early 70s, I refused to dress in anything but tattered jeans, smock tops and clogs (sometimes socks with sandels, OMG). My hair grew long and straight and was parted in the middle. I wore scarfs on my head all of the time with HUGE earings and half-moon glasses (and I ddin't even need glasses then). There were rings on each finger and bracelets up my forearm. A look that I, now, realize wasn't necessarily the most attractive to the "older" generations. Actually, in restrospect, it wasn't all that attractive period. It was my time and my way to differentiate myself (although everyone else looked the same).

My rule has always been to differentiate myself in ways that were not permanent. Fashion has worked nicely to achieve the desired effect. I refuse to do anything "permanent" such as ink or cosmetic surgery. Hair color is as dramatic a change as I can endure. That's why I am now a REDHEAD.

I recognize that the piercings can close up and go away. I applaude self-expression and efforts to differentiate yourself among the crowd. I just have a different perspective of what I believe is "acceptable" and "desireable".

My view is a comment of taste, not judgement. Hell, I am the woman who refuses to wear sandels unless I have a fresh pedicure. I wouldn't go to the gas station without full makeup until about five years ago.

During our passage of rebellious expression, our bodies are the easiest canvas; one of the few things we have most control over and thus, we ask ourselves the question, "to pierce or not to pierce?"