At My Thanksgiving Table

On the fourth Thursday of November, each year, Americans sit down at a table with family and friends to celebrate Thanksgiving. The feast is endless and the drink flows freely.

At my table, among the friends and family, among the memories of those who have gone before us, I embrace some special guests.

At my table, Faith takes a seat. Faith reminds us that we should not require proof or evidence to believe in the goodness of humanity. Faith maintains that our trust, confidence and reliance in our spiritual beliefs will be rewarded with the promise.

At my table, Respect joins with arms open. Respect teaches us to consider each other and each other's beliefs with deference, courtesy and regard. Respect tells us that this regard is not to be offered just to others, but to ourselves as well.

At my table, Peace brings harmony and tranquility. Peace is so very fragile and is often not seen. But on this day of Thanksgiving, we pray for a day with peace; the absence of war and the presence of an undisturbed state of mind.

At my table, Friendship surrounds us. In Friendship we can see each other's face; warmly supportive; deeply loved; and, forever forgiving. Friendship helps us to remember that we are not alone in our endeavors and we can not achieve greatness without each other.

At my table, Hope cautions us on our expectations. Hope, in its purest form has no expectations. Hope offers us solutions. Hope inspires us. Hope brings the future to our table.

At my table, Patience steadies us. The stresses and tediousness of our lives often leads us to forget patience. Patience gives us strength, fortitude and stoicism to endure.

At my table, Charity prevails. Charity lights our love for humankind. With charity we can lighten our hearts with benevolence, affection and goodwill. Charity does not judge others.

At my table, Forgiveness asks us to forgo our anger. In forgiveness we can give up our resentment and eliminate our desire to punish. And like Respect, Forgiveness reminds us that it not just for others; we must learn to use forgiveness for ourselves.

At this season of Thanksgiving, I pray that these guests come to my table each and every day. I pray that they can find a seat at yours as well.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect: to consider or treat with deference or dutiful regard; to show consideration for; avoid intruding upon or interfering with; consideration; courteous regard, courteous expressions of regard; to show polite regard.

Yes, I know, everyone is weighing in on the issue of civility, rudeness and outbursts. Well I just need to get it off my chest.

It's not just the actions of the 3 Ws (Wilson, Williams and West) that have exposed an undercurrent of rudeness as acceptable under the guise of freedom of speech. I am listening and seeing disregard and contempt everyday from the shoppers in a retail environment to our children in schools.

We were taught to "speak our mind"; don't accept 'no' for an answer; you are entitled to your opinion; be yourself. I contend that some of "our selves" aren't very nice.

What happened to learning to share, cooperating and team work? Did the lessons of common courtesies fall by the wayside in our efforts to prepare our children for the "real world"? How did that happen?

Respect has been on the decline since the issue of "entitlement" moved in. The generations that are now parents and grandparents have allowed their youth to believe that the world is indeed their oyster and all you need do is claim it. I believe there are few lessons that were skipped here. Did we miss the class on negotiating a win-win solutions? Did we miss the class that describes there are two sides to each issue? What about the lessons of diversity and tolerance and just plain "please and thank you"?

It is not the fault of the kids that they lack respect. What of the teen who disrupts her class, yells at the teacher and suffers no consequence? When the school calls the parent about unacceptable behavior shouldn't there be a reprisal? No, the teen gets to go on a weekend outing. Doesn't that condone the behavior? Why do we expect the behavior to change when there are no consequences for unacceptable acts?

Recently I was dining at the lake. Three boys were on the shore, throwing rocks at a family of ducks. There was some muted mumblings of disapproval, but no one did anything to stop it. I couldn't help myself, being somewhat of a "Mommie Dearest." I went down to the boys and suggested they stop before one of the ducks were injured. No response nor acknowledgment of my presence. In a more stern voice I asked where their parents were. They rolled they eyes at me and tossed another rock. I then threatened to call Security if they did not stop; two of the boys ran off. The third boy rolled his eyes and tossed yet another rock. I know that if I attempted to pull him away I would be arrested. He knew that too. I repeated that I was going to get Security and began to walk off. He threw yet another rock, this time hitting the duck. He ran off, laughing. I suspect we will see him in court one day. I am just not sure if he will be the defendant or the attorney.

I am saddened by the lack of respect we see in our youth. I am saddened that as a nation we believe the loudest voice will have the victory. I am saddened that people believe the "freedom of speech" does not require sensitivity, compassion and some editing. I am saddened that we have become so intolerant.

There are so many wonderful, respectful and intellectual people out there. Why are we allowing the rudeness to grow? I do not have the answers for peaceful coexistence, but I do know it begins with RESPECT.