Failed Communication - a pre-existing condition?

"I'm just saying. . ."

You have heard that phrase; used to veil a declaration of displeasure. "I think some people need to practice what they preach." "Really? What do you mean?" "Nothing, I'm just saying." Saying what? Why? What's your point? What prompted the comment? I hear what you are saying, but, WHY are you saying it? Feeling a little passive aggressive today?

Few things frustrate me more than the "disembodied judgement." "Some people need to mind their own business - I'm just saying. . ." I think you need to mind your business and own what you are saying!

It is unfortunate that, as a culture, we prefer to cloak our feelings and ideas in glittering generalities rather than approach our communication with each other in direct sentences. Attribution is our crutch. We can safely set our understanding down without actually touching the ground with full weight. We plant seeds of disapproval, with plausible deniability. Is failed communication a pre-existing condition that we can no longer treat?

While we revert to this closeted communication style, we let "some people" take control of public opinion. Public opinion is shaped by the loudest and most direct communicators. "They" keep screaming out their opinion while others step back and timidly "just say" what they think or understand. We do not necessarily like what "some people" are saying, but we don't want to confront it. We may not understand it.

There is my frustration! To confront or disagree with an opinion or idea you must be educated on the facts of the opinion or idea; understand the issues that form the perception. Is that too much trouble? Apparently.

Over the course of the last month, the news cycle has spent a lot of time discussing the issue of racism as the basis for disagreement with the Obama administration. George Will made the comment that there is a "lust to politicize" every issue these days. I suggest that all opposition is driven by fear. . .I'm just saying. . .Fear of change or fear of loss or fear of not being on the winning side.

In times of unrest, and I submit that we are indeed in a time of unrest (i.e. economy, healthcare, two wars), people flock to sides of perceived, shared philosophy. Shared philosophy can be religious or political affiliation; cultural or ethnic; it can be what we were told we believe. We choose a side where we feel safe in numbers. It is so much easier to follow the herd than to break out onto a new path. We may find ourselves alone on the new path; then again we may find a new breed and join forces. We may find ourselves with the responsibility of leadership.

Perhaps the fear could be reduced if we listened more carefully, studied both sides of an issue and focused on the task at hand. It is not the person that needs to be resolved, it is the issue. Obama will continue to be Obama. Limbaugh will continue to be Limbaugh. Wilson will continue to be Wilson. Clyburn will continue to be Clyburn.

Heathcare in this country can be changed.

I'm just saying. . .

Manic Monday - State of the Union

I'm worrying about finances; I'm worrying about the widening divide of public opinion on healthcare and financial reform; I'm worrying about the impact of partisanship on the character of the American voice; I am worried about the casualties that will result from the "wars", both domestic and foreign.

In the last week I've heard of a dozen cases of people losing work, losing their homes and in some cases just losing hope. I believe adversity will strengthen our resolve and motivate us to fight back. However, I'm not sure whom or what we will be fighting. I fear we have begun fighting each other.

The American middle class is in survival mode. In our efforts to survive and maintain, I see tolerance going out the window; in some case civility. We no longer have the "luxury" to leisurely weigh the vast amounts of information available to us and develop an opinion. Our patience has been tried and we are shouting at each other - just chose a side! Each side is fueled by passion. Passion fueled by fears.

We are in triage mode. What do "I" need to address first? Is it putting food on the table? Keeping the utilities connected? Affording the trip to the doctor? Depleting my retirement funds? Is the glass half full or half empty?

I am faithful and believe we can rise above the petty squabbles that ensue - economic stress is challenging. We are facing life changing decisions. Change produces uncertainty. Uncertainty produces fear. Fear creates stress and anger. And the cycle perpetuates itself.

I hear the fears of people who believe they are losing their freedoms to government intervention. And yes, I understand how uncomfortable it is to lose control. But don't you think someone has to be in charge? Don't we need to collectively migrate to a greener pasture? We can't fix this alone.

We have chosen our leadership. We voted for people that we believe will find solutions, not create problems.

I'm tired of fighting for what I believe. I'm tired of partisanship. We need to address the ISSUES and focus on the TASKS; we need to leave the PERSONALITIES and egos at the door.

There is a process to fixing what ails us. Let's support the process and accept the outcomes.

God Bless America.