Lessons Learned for 2010

Happy New Year!

Like most of you I have spent the last few days reflecting upon the year that has passed and contemplating my game plan for the new year. What have I learned? What should I have done differently? What is it I want to accomplish? Where do I go from here.

I don't enter 2010 with the unabashed enthusiasm of a naive girl. I was once told that "all unhappiness is due to unrealized expectations." Rather than "expect", I look to the moment and take my joy as it is revealed; sometimes ever so slowly. With that said, I can truly say that 2009 was just fine. Oh, I had my financial woes and aches and pains and some disappointments on the job front; but, there were so many "ah ha" moments full of new understandings, new friends, new interests and the comfort of family and old friends. The days passed ever so quickly and as I look back I find many new lessons and many reminders that give me peace in my heart and comfort in my soul.

Here are some of the random thoughts that I take into 2010:

Finances

Get some. Don't spend so much.

Work
As are many Americans, I am in a "forced semi-retirement" stage. While I have been lucky to be able to hold things together and pick up an odd consulting arrangement here and there, I need to rejoin the work force.

One of my lessons learned is that one should find work - to live. For many years, I lived to work. I recall one of the last times I saw my father alive. I had gone back to Florida for a quick weekend to spend with him in his final weeks. When it came time for me to leave, I kissed him on his forehead and told him I had to get back to work. He looked at me sadly and said, "but, you don't love it. It will hurt you if you don't love it." He was so right. It does hurt you unless you find joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.

I have heard people say that we all can't have the luxury of working in a job, occupation or career that we love; choices are limited. I have learned that our choices to find something we love doing is often limited by our need and greed to consume. Less need and greed will set you free to explore other paths less laden with the things. In 2010 I will look to do something I love.

Tolerance

There is "good" tolerance and there is "bad" tolerance. Good tolerance is to recognize others' beliefs, practices, opinions without sharing them. Bad tolerance is to put up with something or someones practices which may not be ethical, moral or generally acceptable behavior.

I'm a strong believer in "agreeing to disagree" when it comes to politics, customs, religious beliefs, education, etc. I am very tolerant; it is free will and free speech (no matter how ill informed I may find it).

We should not sit quietly and tolerate bad behavior and ignorant actions. I am ever so tired of the thinly veiled racial slurs and ethnic jokes. I will not tolerate parents slapping their children in public nor will I sit quietly amidst teenage jeers and bullying of others. What happened to kindness and manners and patience and "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you?"

Friends

Friendship must be nurtured. And like most living things, some require more attention. There are friends that can be left on the window sill for weeks on end and will still greet you with a smile and in full bloom. There are those friendships that sometimes find themselves stagnant and must look beyond themselves to refresh and regenerate. We always find our way back.

I was lucky in 2009 to reconnect with some old friends and cultivate some wonderful new friends. Friendships that I need to tend to in the new year. These friends comfort me, educate me, motivate me, inspire me and make me laugh. These friends of mine are my priority in 2010.

Celebrate

To celebrate: to commemorate with ceremony or festivity. I was reminded in 2009 that one does not need to wait until Christmas or the Fourth of July to celebrate with friends and family. Each day we are given on this earth should be a celebration. Each sunrise and sunset; every "God Bless You' you hear and every "Good Morning" you are given; the smile on a child's face and the warm embrace of a friend; every blossom on the bush and every fresh pot of coffee - all are gifts and reason to celebrate.

So, I begin my celebration of the New Year. Welcome 2010 and I look forward to greeting you each and every day.

If you don't get older, you die young

There are many family members and friends celebrating birthdays this month. Some are excited about the "milestone", some are apathetic and some are down right annoyed that they have to add another year to their age. My father always said, "if you don't get older, you die young." Is that why we celebrate? The fact they we have survived another year?

Some birthdays are recognized as a right of passage. Turning 18 or 21 welcomes one into adulthood. Depending upon your jurisdiction, you can now vote, possibly buy alcohol, drive, purchase lottery tickets and enlist in the military. You can also be sued and tried as an adult in criminal court.

Reaching 50, 55 or 65, welcomes you into "old age". When I was in my twenties, we feared 30; the age which we could "no longer be trusted." Catholics and Anglicans confirm twelve and thirteen year olds in religious adulthood. The Jewish faith taps their twelve and thirteen year olds with a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. In Islam, the legal age for girls is 9 and 15 for boys. In the U.S., sweet sixteen is a coming out party for many young girls; while the Hispanics celebrate quinceanera marking the girls' 15th birthday.

We make holidays out the birthday of presidents, explorers and civil rights leaders. Elvis's birthday is marked by a huge pilgrimage of fans to Memphis, Tennessee. We bow our heads in memory of departed family members on their birthdays and pray on our "Saint's Day."

According to public record, birthdays are generally, evenly distributed throughout the year. However, according to Anybirthday.com there are more birthdays in October and September, respectively. The most frequent birthday is October 5th; and, the least frequent birthday is May 22nd (I actually know two people who were born on May 22nd). The September and October births are attributed to the nine month period following the holidays of Christmas and New Year's. I guess the November babies are the result of those cold, northern winters.

Origins of the birthday celebration are rooted in superstition. In the early centuries of Western civilization, it was believed that evil spirits were particularly attracted to people on their birthdays. In ancient times, people prayed over an open fire, believing the smoke would carry their thoughts and wishes to the gods. So it seems, to protect the birthday girl or boy from harm, friends would gather to bring good thoughts and brought gifts to provide even more cheer to ward off the evil spirits. Eventually the "open fire" was replaced by the candles. Up until the fourth century, Christianity viewed the birthday celebration as a pagan ritual. I guess that changed after they threw the Pope and birthday party.

We gather at the birthday celebration for food, drink and cake. We stack candles on the cake and the birthday person makes and wish and blows the candles out. We bring presents, cards and decorate with balloons. We chronicle the day with photographs and sentiments. The birthday person is the center of attention. We spend years perpetuating that special attention and then after I while we hope it gets overlooked. Remember what Daddy said, "if you don't get older, you die young:" so put on your Sunday best and smile for us. . .we love a good party.