Playing without Privacy

Are you really serious about maintaining your privacy? Really, seriously, taking all the precautions to protect your identity? It's quite the paradox isn't it?

I want anonymity regarding my financial identity, yet, the fact that I am leaving on a two week vacation is posted in my status on Facebook. I wouldn't put a sign out in front of the house indicating that "I'm not home and won't be for two weeks", yet I post it on Facebook? So, you say "they" don't know where you live? Type your name into any search engine and see what pops up. Not only do "they" know where you live, they know what elementary school you went to and what level you have achieved in "YoVille". Social media is outing us on so many levels.

For the last ten+ years, I have worked as a certified privacy professional. Knowing and understanding the concept and legalities of privacy and the impact on target marketing is what I do for a living. I know that putting certain demographic information about myself in cyberspace will open me up to various, unsolicited, contacts. But, I want to "play" with my friends.

I can designate certain contacts as spam; I can opt out of mail, telemarketing and email contacts, but it doesn't stop the targeted solicitations that pop up on the various websites that I use and follow.

Lately, I've been particularly barraged with advertising relating to "dating" for "older, mature" people. There is the "Meet someone new today" ad that I swear has a photo of my great-niece's husband. Meet Elite Singles! Romance a Millionaire! Dating for Mature Singles can be very difficult! 1,000s of Big and Beautiful Singles in your area! 40+ and Single? Find love this Fall! Mature Singles Only because no one should be alone. Find Love Again!

I have been targeted as "an over 40, mature, big person, who is not in love but wants to be." How do I opt out of that? Why they think I'm "big", I'm not sure. Oh wait a minute, they probably know what size clothing I order online since I probably agreed to the terms and conditions of the retailer which stipulated in fine print that they shared certain information about me to third party vendors. They didn't share my credit card number or address, but did share what size, color and style dress I purchased. They know I'm single because I indicate such on my Facebook profile. And, they know I'm over 40 since I put in my birth year to register. They must know that I am beautiful because I got an ad that said I was "an intelligent beauty with invincible spirit." Target marketing is amazing!

The other catch to online privacy is that while you may be agreeing to share your information, you are often times sharing my information as well. Most Platform notices of access will indicate that you are agreeing to allow them to "pull YOUR profile information, photos, FRIEND'S info and any other contact info." You can thank me later for getting all those emails from the pharmaceuticals companies and debt consolidation companies.

Each morning, when I log on, I take the time to go through my spam folder and opting out from unwanted solicitations; if they don't cease, I send an email indicating I am reporting them to the FTC, FCC and Consumer Affairs. I get a number of phishing emails that I forward on to the bank or credit card company for them to do something about. I delete, unopened, all those emails from the "Minister of Finance" in Nigeria and the "lottery administrators" from the UK.

You are only as safe as the precautions you take. Each morning, after my personal hygiene, I perform "cyber-hygiene". If you don't you could get a virus.

Picking up where we left off

I was fortuate to spend some time with some old, dear friends this weekend. It is such a comfort to know that friendship can survive through the years without the necessity of daily contact (with even several years in between).

Maybe we start yawing earlier in the evening than we used to; maybe we can't drink as much wine as we used to; our memory may not be as sharp as it used to be, but even if the memory evades us, the feelings remain. We've been through many life changing events together and we may have, perhaps, missed a few in between, but the empathy, respect and console remain.

Someone once told me that I "collect people". At first I thought that the comment was negative and then she continued to tell me that it was an admirable trait. I don't collect people to show them off, I collect people to share with; to laugh with; to cry with; and, to be with. People that share my many moods and eclectic tastes. Bringing different people together and facilitating conversation and sharing is my joy.

I'm known to introduce the same people to each other several times during the course of the evening. I get lost in the excitement of sharing the people around me. Introducing people to people and people to events and people to ideas and people to music and people to art and people to food and people to wine. . . . . . .and pets and places and books and me. . . it is an adventure that brightens my heart, my soul and my mind.

I believe in creating memories and lasting friendships. Social media is a great help to keeping in touch. My sister tells me just pick up the phone; there are not enough hours in the day to speak to everyone as frequently as I can share, and you can share, through Facebook.

It indeed keeps us connected so we may pick up where we left off when we do get some moments together; the circle of friends light the way.

Social Jumpstart

There was a recent article on social media, suggesting that most people were "searching" for connection with others and self; finding their voice. I believe it's a fair assessment and is underscored by the popularity of the Facebook "quiz"; what are you doing? what do you want to do? who do you love? where should you be? how tall are you? who is the ghost sleeping in your bedroom?

I took that last quiz to find that I'm sharing my room with a poor little girl that lived in an orphanage and was poisoned. Now, exactly what did I think I was going to get from that quiz and isn't that a quite morbid response? Why couldn't I have a beautiful, winged angel, gently watching over me as I slept?

There is something for everyone on "Quiz Monster". And, let's not forget "Living Social". Our need to share every little thing with everyone. Oh, I'm guilty. It's a jumpstart to friendship. I can meet new people and don't have to waste time filling them in on all the little chit chat that goes on with those initial meetings. They know my favorite music, cereals, and what I bought last. I've shared; now we can move on and get down to more important things...all those things that I don't post or take a quiz to reveal.

I can't figure out if I'm lazy or impatient. But, I am enjoying the connections with people from my life that I may never have seen or spoken to again; and the new faces that have fastly become connected.

It's keeping the village in tact. I just wonder what happens when the computer crashes????? I think the phone still works.